my name backwards spells “disappointment and skin problems”
nice to meet you, Smelborp Niks Dna Tnemtnioppasid
You really shouldn’t put your full name on the internet, it’s not safe.
I’m done
Smelborp for president
school
reblog if you cried
life is so hard when you have twenty tv shows to watch
knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit
wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad
That was deep
philosophy is wondering if that means ketchup is a smoothie
That was deeper.
common sense is knowing that ketchup isn’t a damn smoothie you nasty
i am not a religious person…….. but if you’re out there, giant rat that makes all of the rules,
someone said ‘the version of me you created in your mind is not my responsibility’ and wow
Stop being mean to me I’ve got eyes and I’m not afraid to cry
we joke and jest but there’s literally nothing more ‘monkey brain’ than the primal urge to climb things
me: *sees any tall structure with features that i could use to scale it*
monkey brain: CLIMB. ASCEND. SCURRY UP THE BOUGHS OF THIS TREE AND FIND A SUITABLE VANTAGE POINT TO STRATEGICALLY SURVEY YOUR SURROUNDINGS.
me: alright, i’m up. now how do i get down?
monkey brain: use tail to maintain balance and JUMP!
me: we don’t have a tail, remember? we evolved beyond it.
monkey brain:
When i was little i wanted to grow up to be a disney princess but im pretty sure i just became YzmaÂ
W H A T
W H A T
W H A T
W H A T
“My mom has 5 sets of china (don’t ask) and put them in her pool prior to being evacuated from fires in northern California. The dishware survived!”
Mom priorities
1. To quote an old engineering proverb: “If it looks stupid, but it works, it’s not stupid.”
2. I love that the two lawn chairs are in there too.
take a breath, spit out the blood in your mouth, and get back up on your feet. you still got a couple of motherfuckers to prove wrong.
Me getting up from the chair at the dentist after a quadruple root canal
Your response has nothing to do with ginger ale
and your response doesn’t have anything to do with being the biggest clown on the block but here we are again
Toddlers are so pure. She doesn’t understand that we help her with certain things because she’s little. She thinks that everyone just helps each other like that. So she tries to blow on my food and cut it up for me and tries to help me put on my shoes.